|Number Two Pikey Avenue
Resident: Mel C
|Pikey Percentage: 87%
Pikey Features: Dodgy gold tooth, always in a tracksuit, always up for a fight.
Resident on the Island: 5 Years
Added info: Only resident to have a shower in her home, rumour has it, it was installed as a joke. It has at this time, never been used.
|Right Ladies and Gentlemen, this run down old shack belongs to ex Spice girl and wannabe Punk Chick Mel C. As before I advise you not to get to close to this house, if you thought Jay K was bad tempered, Mel will have you filling your pants.
Now this house is said to be one of the warmest on the Island. No it doesn't have heating, where Mel has hung up all her tracksuits and shellsuits on the walls she has found that they act as insulation. Now as you may have all noticed there are plenty of car tyres on the front lawn but no car. As some of you may know Mel is a scouser, therefore she is only inclined to nick the tyres and not the whole car. Another reason we can not hang around here to long Ladies and Gentlemen so please keep close to the bus. But if you are interested in buying a car stereo, Mel is also the person to see.
|As you can see from your tour guide Mel C has a gold tooth. This is said to be made out of a gold ring that was attached to the hand of one of Mel C's arm wrestling rivals. The story goes that she was just to strong for him and pulled his hand clean off. She made the gold ring into a tooth to remind her challangers what they are up against. Since then no one has dared challange her. We did have one tourist who fancied his chances but he ended up bleeding to death after having his arm pulled off. As there is no Hospital on the Island there was not much we could do to help him. I believe Mel sold the carcas to Jay K to feed his dogs.|
|As you can see from your tour notes, Mel C is the only resident on the Island to have a shower installed in her house. This is said to be part of her wicked Scouse sense of humour. She of course has never used it. In fact I don't even think it is pumbed in.
As we have already said, Mel is a Punk wannabe. Rich I know considering her teeny bopper background. But we believe that this desire of hers goes back to right when she first moved on to the Island. Johnny Rotten was often sighted visiting Mel.
|In fact Mel is often having Punk parties. If you come up here late at night you can often catch a glimpse of a member of The Clash pissing out of the bedroom window. Which is also the reason Mel keeps this barrel directly underneath the window. She has been known to sell the piss to other residents on the Island claiming it to be Special Brew. In fact please bare that in mind when we get to the gift shop. Ok Ladies and Gentlemen I think we have seen enough here, it's time to move along to the next house.|