Flashes of comic genius - Hairline Website

Swindon Jokes - Three Weeks

This satire on the rebranding of Religion as delivered by the would-be trendy Rev David Swallowfield-Bypass and the actually quite cool Rick McVicker has a lot of potential. - The Scotsman

Innovative, really quite good - Forth One FM

Blasphemous - Greg Proops

Sorry I've things to do - The Busiest Tramp in Edinburgh

Laugh out loud funny - God & Paul Provenza
Edinburgh Festival Fringe 2003
Ginge's Fringe Diary  -  Week Three
August 15th
Creeping up to the weekend. Another day without any problems.
Being able to just get on with selling the show and getting on stage without having to worry about problems is a nice change and we are now able to get into a routine.
As a result the show gets better with each day and confidence is sky high. We now know we have a great show and people enjoy watching it. Some crowds are not as loud as others, but you get the feeling that is more down to no one wantsing to be the first one to laugh out loud. They are all sat there with big smiles on their faces so that is just as good.
Apparently the football season starts tomorrow.

August 16th
The pace of it all was really starting to kick in now and tiredness was starting to effect everything. The shows were still going well, and for that hour your able to pick yourself up, but flyering was beginning to become a pain to look forward to. Once you got out there and started talking to everyone you didn't mind, but the tasks that go with doing the show were getting to us now. No days off from it all. The general feeling around the whole of Edinburgh was that everyone else was feeling the same way. Of course the bigger names don't need to go out flyering so I am sure a good lay in was had by all. Like I say though, once you get out there you get back into it again and the tirdness goes for a bit. But today was the start of the football season, so after the show we went to a Sports Bar to watch the results come in on Sky Sports. A few beers and good sit down doing nothing but watching Sport TV. Being away from England the start of the season had totally passed us by so far, so it was a bit odd to suddenly be watching what was happening on the opening day. Arsenal of course had the very easy opening fixture of at Home to Everton. The 2-1 was never in doubt. The evening was a quiet one, out for a few drinks and then back home for The Premiership and then a much needed early(ish) night.

August 17th
Start of a new visiting week. Kirsty and Terry due up today. Kirsty was flying and Terry decided to get the train up.
First we had the usual start to the day of flyering and performing the show. It all goes well, usual mix of people trying to be clever when you talk to them about the show, and those who are interested. The amount of peopel who suddenly fancy themselves as a bit of a funny man the second you try and talk to them. And the amount who try and out smart you as well. Sometimes it helps us sell the show, if someone has been a bit of a twat and we have made them look like one, they warm to you more and are more than happy to speak to you.
The show goes well again, and we are looking forward to Terry seeing how it looks. He has only ever seen it in Nick lounge as well, so we can't wait for him to see it on stage.
Kirsty arrives on time , but poor Terry has been sent right round the houses by cancelled trains and bus journeys arriving rather late.

August 18th
The posse of 4 decend on The Royal Mile for some serious flyering. It's Kirsty and Tel's first day so we show them the ropes and get them working....well I hope they didn't think they were going to be on Holiday.
The crowds around Edinburgh are still well up and going into the last week more people are expected.
The show goes through smoothly and everything is going well.

August 19th
Another day, another show, another morning of handing out flyers. The show now looks and feels great, which gives you even more confidence to go out there and sell it. Our audiences are still higher than most shows at the festival, mainly down to the fact that we actually take the time to talk to people about the show rather than just thrust a flyer in their hands. It's decided today that we would split into two groups to cover more ground. Nick and Kirsty, and me and Tel. While walking down the Royal Mile we go past a tramp who is happily shouting out to strangers and going about his business. I then decide how funny it would be to hand this guy a Flyer, mainly because I want Nick to clock him further down the road holding one of our flyers. So we flyer him, he couldn't be more chuffed, bless him. He thanks us and gets back to walking and shouting. Further down we see him again, this time he is dancing along to one of the acts on one of the stages that have been put out on the street. Well we felt it was only right we should have a little dance with our new found friend. So we do. He looks at us and laughs, and we start to chat to him, but at this point he decides he is just too busy to speak to us. He informs us that he has to go as he has things to do. A bit miffed by this we ask him what he has to be getting on with? Things to do he replies again. Well it had to be a first, did we look so bad that a tramp didn't want to be seen with us or was he really the busiest tramp in Edinburgh?

August 20th
England V Croatia was the game of the day, this of course lead to me having to air my views on Sven and the dire England team. Having turned Welsh under the grandparent rule, I felt it only right with "us" top of our table and looking like we were going to the Euro Championships next summer, to inform everyone just how boring England were and how I just couldn't ever bring myself to watch them as a supporter.
The show still with out problems for over a week and a bit now, ran through well again. The audience again staying at our average dispite us thinking we were going to get a small crowd. The amount of people who just turn up at the last knockings is amazing really.
But the evening was of course football night. Nick and Kirsty left me and Tel to go watch the football. Banking on Frankenstiens showing the game we went there. "Sorry only the scotland game but we will be showing the second half live". Sod that. So I suggested we go find the sports bar me and Nick had used on the 16th. It's near the station I remembered. Now all who know me, know I am dire with directions, and as it turns out Terry is no better. We got lost. We some how ended up on Princes Street. Changing our tune from "we don't need Nick to show us the way anywhere", to "Wish Nick was here". We did get a Burger King out of it mind. So lost we just stopped for a Burger. After we just went back to where we had started and watched the second half in there. Still it was a nice walk. And we did managed to get some awesome seats eye level with the screens that were hanging from the ceiling. Nice.
It was also the night that we almost converted a god squad follower. Walking back to the bar we went past some madman who was preaching, we stopped to watch and laugh. But when we went to walk away some young lad came running after us wanting to know what we thought of what we had just heard. I told him it was a load of bollocks, which then started this bloke off on a discussion asking why I thought that. To his credit he tried and tried but me and Terry just kept throwing things back at him. We didn't have to try to hard to beat him once he started going off on one about Greek memory men and mind readers. But by the time we left him we had all but convinced him he should be going down the pub instead of hanging around on the street talking to people about Jesus. Had Nick been there then I am sure we would have had him coming back to the bar with us.
I also had to eat my hat with England playing really well and winning 3-1 very convincingly (although I haven't been able to say anything that nice about them since).

August 21st
Possibly the most enjoyable show we did during our time up there.
The audience wasn't a big one and just felt like totally realxing on stage. It was now at the stage where we felt more than in control of everything at was going on in the show. No matter what went wrong, what came up unexpected we were ready for it. The feeling of total control like that is fantastic. No fear, you now know the show so well that you can throw in anything you like as a duo on stage and go back to where you were without throwing the other. Nick had now made Dave crazier and I had now made Rick more sinister. So today we played about a bit on stage. Like I say not really anyone in so I decided to focus everything onto Terry in the audience. Tel was sat at the front and thought it only fair that he try and put us off. Thankfully I can't see a thing past my shades so I was't able to make out exactly what hand jesture he was making or what face he was pulling.....well not all the time.
Best moment came when it was time for Terry to shout out "Welks". I went off to pick up my bottle of water ready for me to spit water in surprise at the ".....and makes you gay" line which followed a bit later, only for Terry not to shout the line. I looked over and saw him shaking his head. Bastard. It had got to the stage where he had made me look like I had forgotten my line.
But the whole feel of doing the show like that was great. Relaxed and I enjoyed that one the most other than the 23rd.

August 22nd
Day of the Channel 4 "So you think your funny" Party. Free beer as usual, although it was Holsten (so I suppose it's only right it was free). It was also the re-birth of The Dance. Anyone who has been out with me drinking within the last 5 years has possibly seen this. How to do The Dance is explained back on the main Jesus Principle Page. It of course take everyone by surprise, including the bloke I was trying to out dance. It also took my by surprise, having not done it for about a year I had forgotten just how much it makes you ache. But it was agreed that it would be included into the opening part of the show from now on. And of course the sight of all 4 of us doing in on the dance floor left everyone else at the party not sure if we were mental or meant it to look so stupid. I think they thought we were mental.
I did try and get my other famous dance "The Wiggle" involved but you just have to have the right music for that one or it jus doesn't work. It was of course also the night Stephen K Amos got a peice of his own medicene and was K-Amosed right in his face. (To find out how and why you should K-Amos, you need to read it on the main Jesus Principle page). We had seen Amos send someone out for a fight a few days before in the Library bar, so it was a brave move by Tel Boy.
After a few hours we had, had enough and went to finish off the party in the Library bar.

August 23rd
The day of The Dance, and the best performace during our time up in Edinburgh. A big corwd came to see the show we decided to film as well. The show flowed better than it ever had before.
The look on the corwds faces as we started The Dance at the beginning of the show made it very, very hard to keep a straight face, although the pain it gives to your back soon took care of that. We also threw in a bit of crowd heckling as well this time around. Tel asking if he was in Catlin near the end. I then told him he should be next door, he walked out much to the enjoyment of the crowd. All the little bits that had been added as the month had gone on were now in place and the show looked exactly how it should. Of course Tel walking out meant his cry of "Welks" from behind the stage made us jump.
That was "The" show, and it would have been a great one to end on, but there were still two more to go.

August 24th
Same again for The Jesus Principle, although with people starting to make their way home the crowd wasn't as big.
Kirsty this time helping out with the cry of "Welks" from the audience. It had been something I had forgotten about with Terry going back home early that morning, and when it came to that point I wasn't sure if Kirsty would just shout it. But she did and there was no need to worry. Having not thought about it until right at that point I was thinking I bet we both call it at the same time, which I suppose would have been quite funny.
The afternoon we finally did what we said we were going to do all the month we had been there. We climbed Arthur's Seat. Nick had of course climbed it before, and for some reason decided we needed to climb it the difficult way instead of the path way round the othe side. After all the holidays we had, had together as kids when our dad's used to make us climb madly steep hills I did ask him why he put us through it all again. But the view at the top was amazing and worth every bit of the climbing. (although we couldn't see Hearts Football Ground)
PS: Middlesboro' lost 4-0 to Arsenal

August 25th
Smallest crowd since the first show. 4 people from a very deserted Edinburgh come along to see the final show of The Jesus Principle's 25 show run.
With quite a few shows cancelling due to no one being around we were quite chuffed to get 4 in. You could see why a few shows only ran until the 24th. Today was a Monday and not a bank Holiday in Scotland, everyone who had come up from England was using this day to go home without losing a day off work.
Flyering in the morning was mainly spent talking to pther performers also trying to find someone, anyone who was looking to go to a show. Everyone was tired and just wanted to get through the day.
The show went well, and there was a very odd feeling at the end when we came off stage. That was that. The run was done. We wouldn't be performing the show again in Edinburgh. What has now totally become the norm was finished. It kind of gave me a lost feeling inside. It had become our jobs up here and now it was back to reality back home.
We spent the evening in the Library bar reflecting on the month and what we had got out of it, how we had progressed and what we had learnt. We also got the pleasure of the compnay of American comic Rich Hall who was slighty the worst for wear. We were having a nice chat with him until he just suddenly lost his memory. Asking if he was going to go and watch the last Late n Live he answered yes, and then no, and then asked Nick if he was in fact going. With that RIch seemed to slip into some kind of drunk stuper and that was all er heard from him.
We left and went back to the house, no more shows to see, no more shows to perform. It was over. Very sad feeling.
But what a month.

We will be back...................