Flashes of comic genius - Hairline Website

Swindon Jokes - Three Weeks

This satire on the rebranding of Religion as delivered by the would-be trendy Rev David Swallowfield-Bypass and the actually quite cool Rick McVicker has a lot of potential. - The Scotsman

Innovative, really quite good - Forth One FM

Blasphemous - Greg Proops

Sorry I've things to do - The Busiest Tramp in Edinburgh

Laugh out loud funny - God & Paul Provenza
Edinburgh Festival Fringe 2003
Ginge's Fringe Diary  -  Week One
July 29th
We are finally in Edinburgh. An 8 hour car drive wasn't as bad as we thought it would be and the time goes quick enough. But we are finally here. After checking into our B&B, which is to be our home for the next few days, we decide it would be rude not to toast our arrival with a few beers and a look around Edinburgh. We decide to head out by foot, we have had more than enough time in the car. Of course it starts to rain as hard as it can once we set foot outside. After a quick look around we decide it's time for a beer and a chance to dry off. Within 5 minutes we are confronted with a very odd man who seems to have done everything and anything. The story in itself is quite amusing while at the same time total bollocks. It's just when we are told it two more times that enough is enough and we leave. Although I think it was more to do with him telling us we were Australian. He just wouldn't believe we were English. So off to another pub. After a while we get talking to a rather nice couple who are up for a good chat. Once we get to closing time they take us off to another bar. All thoughts of a much needed early night are long gone and beer sounds like much the better option. A live band and a few beers round off the evening and we have had a good start to our time in Edinburgh. (Can't for the life of me remember the names of the couple we met though). During our time out though getting talking to other people, Nick did have the misfortune to get talking to a very odd couple of Aussie's. One of which told him our show was shite, how the flyer look shite and how we should streer away from the whole Jesus thing. After a good 20 minutes of trying to explain how this woman was way off the mark, enough became enough and he told her to Fuck off. Meanwhile I was chatting to her "mate" who decided he wished to share with me how he wanted his sister (who he claimed she was) to be involved in a threesome with the woman from the couple we were with. I did inform him that this was possibly not too natural. He did change his story to her not being his sister, but his girlfriend, no sorry he was just travelling with her. It was all too bizarre for me (yeah even me) and I lost him. The woman meanwhile wasn't too happy with Nick telling her to fuck off and proceeded to stalk him for another 30 minutes. We did manage to lose them in the end.........................Thank God

July 30th
Waking up a bit the worse for wear, it was the day of our first Technical run through at the Venue.
All excited we got to the venue. There was also the business of registering our arrival and getting all our passes. We were give a run through of ticket sales, where to get our press cuttings, who was who and what was what. Then it was time to have our first Technical run through. We were introduced to Angie who would be our Techie for the month. We set up and started to get going. Projector set up, film running, lights going.....but the sound wasn't quite right. Rather an important issue. It was coming out fine for some parts but for others, not at all. Oh God (possibly his fault).
This of course held us up for the remaining time in there and we didn't get a chance to get on the stage and go through the show and see how it would look.
The sound issue wasn't resolved and it was going to have to be a case of trying to get it working quickly tomorrow and getting some kind of run through done on stage.

July 31st
Another Technical run through and still the same problems. The problem couldn't be fixed. It was now a case of having to drop some of the sounds from the show, some of which were jokes. This wouldn't change the show as such but it could throw us a bit. Again as a result our time was taken up trying to get the sound right rather than getting on the stage. We would have one last chance, someone had dropped out of their slot at 10:30pm tonight and we were going to be able to come back and have a run through then.
One problem, it was the Venues Launch party that night. We were going to have to miss some of the fun.
Thankfully we didn't miss much. The bets part of the party was finished by the time it was time for us to get back to the room. The beer was free and flowing and it was our first chance to rub shoulders with the bigger names. It was also our first encounter with the press, with a very odd bearded man coming up to us wanting to know about the show, only by the time we had finished speaking to him he was more interested in if the show had any cross dressing/Transgender or gay material in it........
The party also included a 90 min preview show with some choice sets from some of the shows from the venue.
It was our first sight of Fringe Hero Nick Ball in A Load Of Ball. He didn't go down to well, in fact he dies really.
We got back to the Billiard Room for 10:30 and finally managed to get a run through done.
It was just now a case of doing the real thing tomorrow.
The wait was over.


August 1st
All the waiting and all the planning was now over.
It was time for the World Premiere of The Jesus Principle.
After our only run through the night before, we both felt confident that today would go well. We still didn't really know what to expect, we had after all only ever performed this to an empty room and a brick wall.
The morning was spent handing out flyers and putting up posters. With the Fringe not officially starting until the 3rd, there were not really many people around, and those who were seemed to be more interested in looking around rather than wanting to go to any shows.
It was soon time to get back to the venue, and time for the nerves to really kick in. The first two shows were only reviews, and with hardly anyone around it would be a nice way to get into the swing of things. If we were going to die on stage from the off, hardly anyone was going to see it.
In fact only 4 were going to see it, if it was going to happen today. In a way that made things feel a bit better, but at the same time it was only 4. As it turns out no one was really getting bigger audiences apart from the really big names at this time.
Suddenly back stage, the nerves are at a high, a quick look through the script and it's almost time to get out there........
Still with no idea what to expect once we get out on stage, it's time. Out we go.
So did we die?
My god yes, and what a death. Nerves totally got the better of us and the show was all over the place. Lines were forgotten to the point where we missed parts of the show out, our timing with the presentation was out and we were at some stages stood on stage blankly looking at each other.
It was dire.
Possibly the most scary feeling of my life. Back stage we try and look on the bright side, it was only a preview show, there were only 4 people to witness it. But deep down there is just this feeling of total disappointment.
The evening we go to a few shows, have a few beers and try to take our minds off it all. And most of all trying not to dread going back on stage tomorrow.
It wasn't until a few days later that we realised that the 4 people in the audience were 3 reviewers and one photographer who didn't even want to be there.
This was only the start of our bad luck.

August 2nd
We both woke the next day still in a state of shock, I know I was now more nervous of the whole thing and there was a kind of dreading of going back out on stage, but at the same time I knew we couldn't get worse and could only get better. The best thing was simply to get out there and do it again, and do it better. We knew the show was funny and we knew it would entertain. We just now had to prove it. The disaster the day before was possibly the best thing that could have happened. no matter what we were feeling inside we were more focused now.
The morning and early afternoon was spent handing out flyers again and talking to people. There were more people around this time and there was a buzz about the place.
With more people coming to see the show this time round, we headed back to the venue at 2:30pm. At least this time we knew what to expect, what it was going to feel like being on stage. By the time it was time to get back out there on stage at 3:02pm we had got each other focused and ready to improve on yesterday. This time we got it right. Still loads of mistakes but we covered for them and were able to get through without feeling like we were lost on stage. The feeling of sheer relief afterwards fantastic. Just what we needed.
Another night, another party, this time the Fringe launch party. Set in a big nighclub, it was for all press and performers at The Fringe. A fe more acts to see in preview shows, and a 16 year old rapper who's act consisted of rhyming Victoria Beckham with as many things as he could. The Compere for some reason raved on about him but it takes all sorts. It was also the first night we were "spotted"............"It's those two from The Jesus Principle" we heard from behind us..........Nice.

August 3rd
More people in again, the start of The Fringe meant loads of people around everywhere. The Royal Mile was packed out more and we finally had people to flyer to and speak to about the show.
Woke up feeling not too good, the start of a cold feels like it's on the way and a sore throat to boot. Exactlly what's needed.
The show goes well, and it's the first time people really get into it. The sound of people laughing at the show is also odd. It's the first time we have really heard it and it's not something your used to when you have been doing the show to an empty lounge for two months. It feels odd, but feels great at the same time. We are making people laugh, exactly why we are here. The show improves again from the day before and it's starting to really flow. Of course there are still bits we are forgetting but we are now learning to really hide them in the show.
I could get used to this.................

August 4th
We both wake with very heavy colds. Niether of us is feeling well at all. Sore throats, the lot. The morning is spent mainly trying to get ourselves alive again. A trip to a chemist to stock up on every remedy known to man. With hardly anyone in today, we decide to just try and get through the show with a small audeince and not really worry about drumming up trade. Right now feeling as ill as is possible we just want to get past 4:00pm without having messed up the show.
We do, and much to our surprise we seem to manage to throw aside the feeling of being ill just the that hour, of course the second we come off we start to feel even worse again. But we get through the show.
As with everyday since the first show, we improve again. A nice plus on a day when you just want to go back to bed.

August 5th
We decide today to go in early to the venue and try out a few things with the sound. We have still been unable to fix the problems we had when we first got here. But we have come up with a few things we can try out.
Drugged up to the eye balls with Lemsip and Vitamin pills we get up early and head for the venue.
We have until about 1:30 to mess about, that gives us enough time to get back out onto the streets and do some flyering. Crowds seem up again today, so it could be a good one.
That is of course until we get to our room. Our hangers are there, but where are our costumes? It doesn't feel right. There is of course a chance that they get moved over night and brought back. No one is around yet....it's possible. But it doesn't feel right. Thousands of pounds worth of equipment and the costumes are the ones that get locked away somewhere. Ok no need to panic just yet, who would nick two Vicars outfits?
We try a few things with the sound, but we can't get any provement on it. Although it's not ruining the show, it doesn't sound anywhere near as good as it should. Ah at last someone to ask about our costumes.
Oh no...it seems they shouldn't have been moved at all. It's not long before we have a few people running around trying to contact different people to make sure they haven't been moved. With time getting on it looks like we are going to have to face up to the fact, they have been taken. The more and more the whole thing is looked into, it appears other performers have had clothes nicked as well. Only of course we need the exact same clothes we wear in the film behind us.
The show is finally cancelled for the day. We haven't had the chance to get many people in so it's no big loss. But the costumes are. The big question now is.......what if we can't find the exact same clothes to buy?

Of course it does have an upside and it isn't long before word gets around the whole venue about what has happened. Others are able to carry on with their show, but today we can't. People start to come up to us and talk about it. Big names even want to say how sorry they are. It's not the most ideal way to become well known, but for now we will take it.
We might even be able to get a press story out of this..........