|Flashes of comic genius - Hairline Website
Swindon Jokes - Three Weeks
This satire on the rebranding of Religion as delivered by the would-be trendy Rev David Swallowfield-Bypass and the actually quite cool Rick McVicker has a lot of potential. - The Scotsman
Innovative, really quite good - Forth One FM
Blasphemous - Greg Proops
Sorry I've things to do - The Busiest Tramp in Edinburgh
Laugh out loud funny - God & Paul Provenza
|"Now it might not surprise you to learn that celebrities have been signing up to The Principle in droves..."
Oh yes, we didn't just focus our time on the general public while we were in Edinburgh. Celebrities need saving as well, and here's who we converted.
Tom Godwin (lynx ad man)
David O' Doherty
Steven Alan Green
Ed Winchester (Fast Show)
Flight of the Conchords
Mitch Benn and the Distractions
|And the ones that got away
Not everyone can be saved. We tried, but for one reason or another we either let them go, they refused to open their lives to The Principle or we just ended up hating them.
Stephen K Amos
Mel (from Mel and Sue)
The Jesus Principle On Stage
The JP in and
|Edinburgh Festival Fringe 2003|
|The Busiest Tramp in Edinburgh
It comes to something when not even a Tramp wants to be seen in your company.
Out flyering to the crowds on The Royal Mile, myself and Terry decided to hand a flyer to a rather happy looking Tramp. He seemed very happy that we had given him one of our flyers and thanked us. So when we saw him a few minutes later dancing along to one of the street acts, we thought it would be nice to join him in a dance. But rather than be seen with the likes of us, the tramp made his excuses and left, informing us "Sorry Lads I'm off, I've got things to do".
Things to do? Like what? What could possibly be more pressing during his busy day than to be seen with Terry and myself?
He's clearly just the busiest tramp in Edinburgh.
|Jeff Mirza - He took a hammer on a plane, but it wasn't for publicity...honest.|
|Nick Ball in
"A Load of Ball"
|You know when you've been K-AMOSED|
|How NOT to make friends in high places
Jeff Green and Steve Frost are listed on the "Ones that got away" list of converstions for one simple reason, we pissed them off. Ok maybe not the best thing to do when you are trying to make a name for yourself, but there are times when oppitunities can't be missed.
So there The JP are, enjoying a drink in the Library Bar, taking up a rather large sofa. In walk Jeff, Steve and friends. Looking for somewhere to sit, they spot us taking up more room than is needed. They start to give us a look that says "we're famous, your not, now move". Now no one messes with The JP and we were having none of it. In fact I think it's safe to say we were enjoying the power of it all. They only had to ask if we would move up or something, but no. So I mention to Nick how funny it would be if we both stood up as if to go, adjusted ourselves and then just sat back down. Only Nick decides this is in fact a great idea. So we do. We wait until they both give us that look again and we go for it. Another moment of comic genius from The JP? Quite possibly, like I say, maybe not the best way to make a name for yourself, but it was so worth it to see the looks on their faces after, it had clearly been planned and they buggered off upstairs having been upstaged by clearly better comics.
|The Jesus Principle 3pm Billiard Room Gilded Balloon, Teviot 1-25th August 2003|
|The Jesus Principle's World Tour of Edinburgh - August '03
It had been two years in the making, but during the month of August 2003, The Jesus Principle finally premiered in possibly the biggest venue, at the biggest art's festival in the world. The Edinburgh Festival Fringe.
Hodder, Busby and Williams first venture into the big time. A month of rubbing shoulders with the big names. Would it be sink or swin, make or break?
Here's the story...
During Channel 4's "So you think your funny - Final" after show party, The JP were minding their own business when a rather odd man started dancing a very odd dance next to Tel. Well it seemed only right that Tel try and out dance this very weird man. So he did, and won. The man went and all around had enjoyed the scene. But the man came back 10 odd minutes later. It was time for "The Dance". Elvis Costello's Bag it up was playing and it was time to rid this man once and for all.
For those of you who haven't seen me do this before it's very simple.
You stand with one leg forward and the other slightly behind you to balance you out. Then tense your entire upper body. Look into space with your mouth slightly open, then girate your upper body without moving your legs at all. Try and make the movements as tense as possible, changing the direction of your body as quickly as possible. Please do warm up first or you will break your back.
Well the man finally stopped dancing near us, but did end up looking at me like I was the odd one.
But The Dance has been reborn after a year or so in retirement, and The JP loved it so much that it was agreed that the start of the show would now change to include "The Dance". So on the final Saturday of our run "The Dance" had it's premiere. So for anyone who saw the show before the 23rd....you aint seen nothing yet.
Please note, The Ginge takes not responsibility for any injury caused while attempting the above dance step.
|Would you like to win some tickets?
Where some shows were just handing out free tickets for their more slower days, The JP decided to make thier fans work for their tickets. Unlike any other show that was on at The Fringe, we decided that people wanting free tickets would have to answer three questions first. This seemed to bring a look of horror to most peoples faces, thinking they might not be able to answer the question. Promising that they would be able to, everyone who was asked had a go.
Our Three questions were:
1) Name something you could do on a Sunday instead of going to Church.
2) Name a distinguishing feature of Jesus Christ.
3) What would your reaction be if you were Joseph and you came home to hear Mary claim she was pregnant by God.
We told the contestants we had asked 100 people and they would have to find one of the top three answers.
It didn't really matter what anyone said as their answer, the tickets were as good as theirs. But this didn't stop people really trying to win them. In fact it got to the point where we were hurrying people along after they were taking almost 5 minutes on each question.
Best answer out of some of the beauties we got:
To Question Number Two: He did a lot of work for charity.
|Isn't that Arthur Smith?
As you may have guessed, it was normal to see famous people everywhere you went around Teviot, but one man just seemed to be everywhere we went. Morning, noon or night. He was there. Arthur Bloody Smith, best known possibly for writing "An Evening with Gary Lineker". Was he stalking us? Who knows, all we do know is he was seen everyday in the same white jacket, blue T-Shirt and cream shorts as well as his panama hat. Did he even ever go home?
This man was over our shoulders so much that I had kicked him three times before the end of his first week there, just through bumping into him. As well as almost opening a door right in his face.
But did our stalker come to any of our shows. Did he bollocks, oh no he thought it would be much funnier to have his own show on at the same time as us, thus taking away some of our audience. Cheers Art.
|Would Johnny Vegas please, please, please leave the main stage.
Everyone dies performing at Late n Live (well everyone apart from Gavin Webster & Daniel Kitson) and Vegas was no different. Clearly bullied into doing at least one Late n Live while he was in Edinburgh for a couple of days, Vegas thought he could come on stage and blag it for 20 minutes without any material. Only he died a very painful death. Not that he possibly even remembers a single second of it. Totally smashed out of his brains, Vegas came on stage with stains down his white shirt and something that clearly wasn't really Iron Bru. Now this in itself should have lead to some funny stuff. But it didn't, a very drunk Vegas started badly and finished 90 minutes later with the crowd walking out and some pleading with him to just go. Compare Kitson clearly thought it was funnier to leave him out there on stage and die some more, as Vegas went from bad to worse, finishing up just aimlessly singing Wham songs to himself.
A lesson there for us all I think, don't drink Iron Bru
|Converting the blind
How were we to know? You can't blame us. I'm sure they got something out of it.
Somehow we managed to persuade three Germans to come and see our show. Only as it turns out, only one of them saw it. The other two were blind. Ok, so it shouldn't be that hard to notice if someone can't see or not, but it doesn't help when one of them is wearing a patch over ONE eye. Now surly that says to anyone that they are blind in one eye? What's the point in wearing one patch, what is that all about? If your blind in both, why wear one path? Can't be a fashion statement, he can't see what it looks like. And the other one, well, didn't look blind to me.
Anyway, bless them, they came along. We were wondering throughout the show why they were sat there at the front stone faced. Wasn't until the end of the show that we saw the sighted one leading the other two, complete with their white sticks, out of the room.
So apart from not really being able to speak much English and not being able to see the show, I'm sure they took a lot out of The Jesus Principle.
The Jesus Principle
The Gilded Balloon
|The Flight of the Conchords were flyered
We offered them a 2 for 1 entry
It was starting to rain
They told us the show sounded great
But they never came
Bloody nice blokes though
|Nick's conversation with Rich Hall
was going great until Rich suddenly forgot everything he had ever known.
"Yeah I'm going to Late n Live tonight, na I'm not going, Nick am I going to Late n Live tonight?"
|So what is the Principle you ask
"Well it's a religious concept custom built to fit into a modern society but with all the benifits of a modern church experience".
"yeah but has it got any transgender or gay material in it?".
Hmm our first conversation with anyone from the press was possibly one of the most bizarre things that happened to us while in Scotland. Quietly having a drink at the Gilded Balloon launch party, we were confronted by a very odd looking press man with the worst teeth and messiest beard ever seen. He came and asked us what The Jesus Principle was, we told him and he followed up by asking if the show had any transgender of gay material in it.
Err well no ????. We have a multi media presentation running in the background though. "Oh that means it's crap huh huh".
It was round about then that we both were unable to carry on talking to him and just stood there in silence whilst he just waffled on about possibly other bizarre things. We couldn't tell you though, we had both turned off listening by then.
|A record 200,000 attended the free Royal Bank Fringe Sunday. It clashed with the Charity Shield... so we
|The Best and the rest
We obviously took in loads of shows while we were in Edinburgh. We were also lucky in that we didn't really see anything we hated. A few dodgy shows but nothing we came out wishing we had gone elsewhere. Actually there was one I hated and that was Phil Kay. I don't think Nick, Terry and Kirsty enjoyed it either, but I think it drove me nuts more than them.
Anyway, here are my top five shows from the ones I saw.
1) Gavin Webster
2) Dave Gorman's Googlewhack Adventure
3) Squonk Opera
4) The Dinks
5) Southern Discomfort - Butch Hammett
Had I included Late n Live performances then Daniel kitson would have not only been on the list but topped it. We never got round to going to see his actual show, but the man is a comic god.
Missing Flight of the Conchords was also gutting after seeing a section from their show at The Spinning Wheel.
One show we certainly didn't need to go and see was GUD, as they seemed to whore themselves out to every compilation type show at The Fringe, which meant we had pretty much seen the whole thing come the end of the month anyway. (of course The JP would have done the same thing had we even the slightest chance).
With their flyer alone making me feel really quite sick, Topping and Butch were avoided. They gave the public a choice of two shows, one called "Afternoon Tease", full of naughty songs while they served out sherry in their leather pants, and the other show being the even more disturbing "...take it up the octaine". A much later showing, and one I can only imagine would make me feel even worse. Gay comedy can be great but I think it was the just the thought of a bald fat man in his 50's and a younger bald skinny gimp looking bloke entertaining us in their tight leather pants and gay bondage gear that really got me reaching for the bucket.
Nick Ball managed to bring a smile to our faces when ever we were having a bad day. We never saw his show, but just the mention of his well thought out show was enough to bring us round. Nick Ball in "A Load of Ball". Genius...or maybe not.
Miles Jupp was also a missed show. The flash git sold out all his shows and we never got in. How he didn't get the best new comer award is madness. Miles, a close friend to The JP, will no doubt take it in his stride and just go and win the main award next year.
|Arthur Smith, will you please stop stalking The Jesus Principle|
As you can imagine, many a silly game came out of our time in Edinburgh. Our favourite was to K-Amos someone.
This came from the Stephen K Amos poster (above). Amos is a big lad and is more gangster rapper than comic in looks, so when we saw his poster we were miffed. What the hell that pose was all about, and we never once saw him in such a poncey suit. So the K-Amos was born. Easy enough to follow, basically if someone said something in jest that just wasn't funny you were K-Amosed. To K-Amos someone is simply to do the pose in Amos' poster. If everyone K-Amosed you, you were forced to sit in silence for 5 minutes to stop you saying anything else equally as bad. Yes very silly, but it passed the time and fitted our mood if we were ever just in a silly mood. BUT what if someone was to K-Amos, Amos? Could it be done? Should it be done. Would anyone be brave enough to even try it? As I have said, Amos is a big lad, and we also witnessed him taking someone outside for what was clearly going to be a good kicking. Well the challange was set in a moment of madness. A few chances came and went. Amos wasn't one of the "stars" we had even spoken to, in fact he scared us. (His picture above really is "glamed" up) Doing it to his face would be a clear piss take, and not being on speaking terms with the man wasn't going to help. With time running out, it was clear the best chance was going to be at the Channel 4 "So you think your funny" Party. With only days left this really was going to be the last chance. But this still left us with the problem of how we could do it to his face without getting a slapping. Step forward Tel Boy.
With the music blaring, the dance floor full and a certain Stephen K Amos stood right in the middle, Tel simply danced up to him and included the K-Amos into a bizarre dance routine right in front of him. Confused and worried, Amos just looked at him. The points went to Tel.
|Time to wake up Ross
There are many things you can do during your time at the festival to make your name, but running over Ross Noble is possibly not one of the better ones. But we were close. Althought it has to be said, it really was more down to Ross than The JP. Anyone who has seen Ross Noble perform will know he is clearly in his own world. you could be forgiven for thinking that it's just a gimic for stage, but it's not. He really is just in his own world all the time. And as a result we nearly ran him over near The Assembley Rooms. Ross, totally away with the birds just walked out into the road. We managed to stop for him and you could see in his face that he suddenly realised he was in the middle of a road. Quite what he thought looking into the car and seeing two men laughing having nearly run him over, god only knows.
We also managed to flyer Ross a week or so later. Nick handed him the flyer and told him to come to the show, "yeah yeah I will, er yeah cheers" was Ross' reply clearly still in that odd world he calls home. It's quite possible he wanted to, and quite possible he tried to, but the chances are that he just walked around aimlessly until he realised he was due back on stage in 30 minutes. Maybe he was just in shock at seeing his face on every Taxi in Edinburgh.
Thankfully he managed to last the month in Scotland without getting run over or lost, and his show was very funny indeed.
|Ross, seriously now, time to snap out of it.|
|Daniel Kitson is God
It's as simple as that. Sure there are others who are right up there with him. Tony Adams, Steve Hogarth, Michael Caine, but as it stands at the moment, Kitson is God. Compere most nights at Late n Live, Kitson never needed a script, he just let the crowd heckle him and would then tear them to peices. No one ever got close to getting the better of him, he was just too quick, too clever and too funny. And anyone who thinks it's funnier to leave Vegas on stage to die just that bit longer gets my vote. I even made him laugh when I flyered him. My career won't get any better than that
And so ends this years Fringe Festival story.
One hell of a ride, one hell of an experience.
Hodder, Busby and Williams intend to tour The Jesus Principle here in the south in the near future.
And of course they will be back with some new material soon.
|A Hodder, Busby and Williams Production.|