THE BIG TACKLE
WITH GRANT
GRANT'S ARCHIVE PAGE
This week I am talking to one of the most famous glamour models in the world today. She has had no less than three boob jobs. Dated some of the most famous men in the world. She has been the face of the Jordan F1 team for the past few years. You can't open a newspaper without seeing her face. She is without a doubt a true English rose. This week I am talking to Jordan.
GRANT: JORDAN IT'S A PLEASURE TO HAVE YOU HERE TODAY.
JORDAN: THANKS FOR ASKING ME, I'M A GREAT FAN OF YOUR ADVICE PAGE.
GRANT: I DON'T HAVE AN ADVICE PAGE, YOU MUST BE THINKING OF STEVE.
JORDAN: OH RIGHT WELL YOU DEBT COLLECTOR PAGE IS GOOD TOO.
GRANT: RIGHT WELL LET'S GET GOING, NOW YOU HAVE BEEN IN THE PAPERS THIS WEEK CLAIMING YOU ACT THICK BECAUSE IT IS EASIER, WHAT WAS ALL THAT ABOUT?
JORDAN: WELL ALL I WAS SAYING LIKE IS THAT PEOPLE FINK I AM FICK SO THAT IS HOW I ACT, CAUSE REALLY I IS A VERY DEEP PERSON WIV FEELINGS AND ALL THAT.
GRANT: SO YOU ARE NOT JUST SOME BIMBO WHO GETS HER TITS OUT AND SHAGS LOADS OF MEN THEN?
JORDAN: NA I AINT. THERE IS MORE TO ME THAN MY TITS.
GRANT: TELL US MORE.
JORDAN: WELL I LIKE ANIMALS AND STUFF, I HAVE A CAT AT HOME.
GRANT: IS THAT IT?
JORDAN: NA I LIKE OTHER STUFF, I LIKE FLOWERS AND PAINTING AND EVERYFING
GRANT: OH YOU LIKE PAINTING,
JORDAN: YEAH I LOVE IT, IT RELAXES ME WHEN I AM ALL STRESSED OUT AND STUFF.
GRANT: SO WHAT DO YOU PAINT? LANDSCAPES? STILL LIFE?
JORDAN: NA WOT EVER IS IN THE COLOURING IN BOOK.
GRANT: THINK WE HAD BETTER MOVE ON, NOW YOU HAVE A BODY MOST WOMEN WOULD KILL FOR, YET YOU HAVE HAD THREE BOOB JOBS, WHY?
JORDAN: CAUSE THEY GIVE ME MORE CONFIDENCE, AND BLOKE LOVE BIG TITS DON'T THEY.
GRANT: ARE THEY THE ONLY REASONS?
JORDAN: WHY DON'T YOU LIKE THEM?
GRANT: NO I THINK THEY ARE GREAT, BUT IF ONE OF THE REASONS WAS BECAUSE MEN LIKE BIG TITS THEN WHY STRAIGHT AFTER YOUR FIRST BOOB JOB DID YOU DECLARE THAT YOU WOULD NEVER GO TOPLESS AGAIN, DON'T YOU THINK THAT IS A BIT THICK?
JORDAN: STOP SAYING I'M FICK. I AINT FICK.
GRANT: DON'T YOU THINK IT WAS A BIT STRANGE. YOU WERE A PAGE THREE MODEL WHO RETIRES THE SECOND SHE MAKES HER BOOBS BIGGER?
JORDAN: YEAH WELL I WANTED TO BE TAKEN MORE SERIOUSLY AS A BIRD AND THAT.
GRANT: AND DO YOU THINK THAT HAS HAPPENED?
JORDAN: YEAH I CAN PULL MORE BLOKES NOW.
GRANT: YOU HAVE QUITE AN IMPRESSIVE LIST OF EX LOVERS, WHY DO YOU THINK NONE OF THEM WORKED OUT?
JORDAN: WELL THEY ALL SAID THAT AFTER THE NOVELTY OF SHAGGING ME HAD WORN OFF THEY FOUND ME TO STUPID. I FINK THEY ARE ALL JUST JEALOUS OF MY FAME AND STUFF. AND SOME OF THEM COULDN'T HANDLE BLOKES COMING ON TO ME AND ALL THAT.
GRANT: DIDN'T YOU TELL THESE MEN WHO WERE COMING ONTO YOU TO BUGGER OFF THEN?
JORDAN: YEAH AFTER I HAD DONE A LAP DANCE FOR THEM OR SOMEFINK. DIDN'T MEAN NUFING JUST A BIT OF FUN. I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY MY BLOKES WENT MAD. I FINK THEY WERE TOO SENSIVITE.
GRANT: I HAVE READ THAT YOU DO A VERY SEXY LAP DANCE ACTUALLY.
JORDAN: WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO DO ONE FOR YOU?
GRANT: I WOULD LIKE YOU TO DO A LOT MORE THAN THAT.
JORDAN: I WOULD LOVE TO BUT I AM SEEING SOMEONE AINT I.
GRANT: OH YEAH BLOODY DWIGHT YORKE, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SEEING HIM FOR.
JORDAN: CAUSE I FINK HE IS SEXY, AND I WANT TO BE IN ONE OF HIS FILMS LIKE.
GRANT: YEAH RIGHT WE ALL KNOW THE REAL REASON DON'T WE. IT'S CAUSE HE IS A FOOTBALLER ISN'T IT.
JORDAN: NA IT AINT, I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HE WAS. HE DON'T LET ME RING HIM AT WORK AND STUFF.
GRANT: LIKE YOU DIDN'T KNOW. YOUR ONLY WITH HIM CAUSE IT'S THE FASHION FOR YOU LOT TO
SHAG FOOTBALLERS.
JORDAN: LEAVE ME ALONE, STOP BEING SO HORRID TO ME.
GRANT: I BET I COULD GET THE BALL OFF HIM NO TROUBLE BEING THE MIDFIELD GENERAL THAT I AM, YOU SHOULD SHAG ME INSTEAD.
JORDAN: ERR NO WAY FAT BOY, I MAYBE FICK AS SHIT BUT YOUV'E GOT TWO HOPES MATE, I'M GOING YOUR UPSETTING ME.
GRANT: OH COME ON I'M SORRY, IT'S BEEN A HARD WEEK FOR ME. COME BACK, WE CAN DATE FOR A FEW WEEKS FIRST IT YOU LIKE. PLEASE? AH SOD YA THEN.......I'LL BE BACK WITH ANOTHER BIG TACKLE SOON...............