The Anxiousness Scheduler

Anxiousness Scheduler – Definition:
anx-i-e-ties: A state of uneasiness and apprehension, as about future uncertainties.
sched-ule: A plan for performing work or achieving an objective.

It would be easy to dismiss the feeling, it would be even easier to dismiss the theory that someone is behind it. The fact remains that recent evidence suggests that no one is safe.

It has long been believed that the feeling of anxiety was a natural one brought about by different levels of worry. However after years of research one man believes that it may actually be all down to one man.

Fred Schmitt has had to spend most of his life battling against those who are quick to dismiss his lifes work. Work that has led him to the four corners of the earth in search of one man, a man he likes to call The Anxiousness Scheduler.

“People believe that the feeling you get when you remember you haven’t turned the iron off is just a natural reaction – it’s not”.

Schmitt insists that the feeling in the pit of your stomach is more the workings of one man and not a human reaction.

“People think I’m a nutter but I have evidence that proves that anxiety can be avoided. If you aren’t on his list you won’t be effected. He comes when your not expecting him. He makes you think and feel things”.

Schmitt’s doctor had a different view:
“The bloke talks bollocks. I have had to put up with this rubbish for 12 years now. I made the mistake of listening to this tripe all those years ago as part of this “show a caring side” idea that was all the rage back then and ever since he thinks I’m his best mate. I have done everything to get him to see someone else. I’ve even slept with his wife. The numbnuts thanked me for christ sake. He is a nutter, plain and simple.”

Schmitt believes he has evidence of the anxiousness scheduler

Despite his doctors review, Schmitt remains adamant of his findings:
“You can’t argue with the evidence. He is everywhere. You see him in the corner of your eye and he makes you feel the anxiousness right in your stomach. He schedules it for the same time each month. Pay day”.

Schmitt believes that a man dressed in a suit comes round each pay day asking for cash he is owed.

“Yeap that’s him: The Anxiousnes Scheduler”.

“He owes this bloke cash, he comes round asking for the months payment – THAT IS IT. It’s his bloody debt collector. I am sick of all this scheduler crap” said his doctor.

“On the up side I have had four foreign holidays out of charging him for all this treatment – treatment he has had to get loans to pay for mind”.