Dave Brown's Bargin Basement
"JUST COVERING MY COSTS"
Dave's  Dodgy Archive
EXCUSE ME MADAM, CAN I QUICKLY HAVE A MOMENT OF YOR TIME. I KNOW YOU ARE BUSY TRYING TO DO YOUR XMAS SHOPPING BUT CAN I JUST DRAW YOUR ATTENTION TO WHAT I HAVE IN MY SUITCASE DARLING. NA, NA NOTHING LIKE THAT BABE, ONLY BARGINS IN THIS SUITCASE. NOW NO DOUBT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A PRESENT FOR YOUR OTHER HALF YEAH? WELL HOW ABOUT GIVING THE ONE YOU LOVE A NICE TOP OF THE RANGE ELECTRIC SHAVER. LOOK AT THE QUALITY OF THAT. NOW THSES HAVE ALL THE MOD CONS, DUAL BLADE AND ALL THAT. WHERE'S THE WHAT...A BRITISH KITE MARK? WHAT IS ONE OF THEM LOVE. I CAN GET YOU ONE IF YOU LIKE.  DODGY THIS, NO WAY BABE, JUST ASK NO QUESTIONS...LOOK TELL YA WHAT LOVE AS THERE IS NOT ONE ON THERE HOW ABOUT I ONLY CHARGE YOU WHAT I PAID FOR IT. THAT WAY I AM ONLY COVERING MY COSTS. CAN'T SAY FAIRER THAN THAT CAN I. COME ON DON'T WALK AWAY LOVE, YOUR ONLY MISSING OUT........BOLLOCKS.

EXCUSE ME MATE, COME OVER ERE MATE, DO I HVE A BARGIN FOR YOU. SORRY TO STOP YOUR HUNT ROUND THE SHOPS BUT I JUST COULD NOT LET YOU PAST WITHOUT GIVING YOU SOME OF THE ACTION THAT IS IN MY SUITCASE TODAY. NOW YOU GOT A MISSUS MATE OR SOMEONE ELSES MISSUS???? HA HA HA HA ONLY KIDDING MATE. NOW YOU WILL BE WANTING TO GET HER SOMETHING NICE THIS XMAS WON'T YOU. SOMETHING A BIT SEXY TO SHOW YOU CARE AND THINK A LOT OF HER, AM I RIGHT? THOUGHT SO, WELL HOW ABOUT A PAIR OF THESE, EH ARE THEY THE BIZ OR WHAT. A PAIR OF BEAUTIFUL SILK KNICKERS COMPLETE WITH FLUFFY ELASTIC WAIST.  AND JUST TO PROVE THEY ARE REAL CLASS, LOOK THEY ARE CRUTCHLESS ONES. NOW IF THAT DOES NOT GET HER IN THE MOOD THEN NOTHING WILL, YEAH I KNOW BROWN IS A FUNNY COLOUR BUT WOMEN MUST GET BORED OF ALL THAT BLACK AND WHITE STUFF DON'T YOU THINK???? WHAT DO YOU MEAN BROWN IS NOT A TURN ON, COME ON THEY AINT GOING TO BE ON HER LONG ENOUGH FOR THAT TO BE A PROBLEM EH, KNOW WHAT I MEAN MATE EH.......LOOK AS YOU ARE NOT 100% CONVINCED I WILL ONLY CHARGE YOU THE GOING RATE. BELIEVE ME I WILL ONLY BE COVERING MY COSTS THIS WAY, SO IT IS YOU WHO IS RIPPING ME OFF MATE.......LOOK I CAN SEE YOU ARE STILL NOT CONVINCED SO HOW ABOUT I THROW IN THIS PEEPHOLE BRA WITH IT ALL FOR THE SAME PRICE....COME IN THIS IS THE DEAL OF THE YEAR HERE MATE. WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY MUST BE REJECTS, LOOK JUST ASK NO QUESTIONS MATE. COME LET ME SEE YOUR MONEY MATE, THIS IS A REAL BARGIN. THAT IS ALL THEY EVER ARE IN THIS SUITCASE. OH COME ON MATE PLEASE. I AM BEGGING YOU, COME ON COME BACK, LOOK HOW ABOUT THE STOCKINGS AS WELL, YEAH THERE BROWN AS WELL, NO PLEASE COME BACK............FUCK IT.