WELL A CUP FINAL IS NOT A CUP FINAL WITH OUT THE HAT'S AND SCALFS. THE CUP FINAL T-SHIRTS ETC....
AND WHO BETTER TO GO TO FOR ALL YOUR CUP FINAL STUFF THAN DODGY DAVE BROWN.
"IT'S ALL OFFICIAL I PROMISE"
OH THAT'S RIGHT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN COME ON OVER. CUP FINAL DAY IT IS, AND I'M SURE YOU ALL WANT TO SUPPORT YOUR TEAM AS BEST YOU CAN DON'T YOU. WELL I'M HERE TO HELP. WHAT I HAVE HERE IS ALL YOUR OFFICIAL CUP FINAL CLOBBER.
YOU SIR, WHAT ABOUT YOU. HOW ABOUT THIS ADE SMITH BARMY ARMY T-SHIRT. GOT THEM IN ALL SIZES, ALL IN ORANGE. SHOW YOUR COLOURS SIR. LET THEM KNOW WHO'S SIDE YOU ARE ON. WE HAVE THE BARMY ARMY SONG ON ONE SIDE AND A LIST OF ALL THE GAMES THAT GOT THE HART TO THE FINAL ON THE OTHER. WHAT'S THAT SIR? AH YEAH UM THE WRITING IS ALL IN DUTCH. NO SIR IT'S NOT A DUTCH TRAINING TOP. THEY ARE JUST FROM THE HOLLAND BRANCH OF THE SUPPORTERES CLUB. I CAN SEE YOU ARE IN TWO MINDS ABOUT IT SO FOR YOU SIR AND AS IT'S CUP FINAL DAY 10. NOW I CAN'T BE FAIRER THAN THAT. BY GIVING YOU THAT PRICE ALL I AM DOING IS COVERING MY COSTS. NOTHING MORE. OK 8 BUT NOW YOU REALLY ARE TAKING ME FOR A RIDE.....OK 6. WELL IT'S YOUR LOSS YOU OLD GIT.
MADAM I SEE THE CUP FINAL ROAD TO THE CAMROSE SCALF IS CATCHING YOUR EYE. AS WELL IT SHOULD. HAVE A FEEL OF THAT. 100% WOOL THAT IS. NONE OF YOUR COTTON RUBBISH. COUBLE LINED AS WELL. AND OF COURSE IN THE FAMOUS ORANGE. WHAT'S THAT MADAM? WHO ARE STAM, OVERMARS, KLIUVERT & DAVIDS. I HAVE NO IDEA MY LOVE. WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY ARE ON THE SCALF. NO YOU MUST BE MISTAKEN. LOOK IT'S PURE QUALITY AND I DON'T WANT YOU TO MISS OUT SO LOOK LET'S GET THAT IN THIS PLASTIC BAG OUT OF EVERYONE'S WAY. NOW I'LL TAKE 7 FOR IT. CAN'T SAY FAIRER THAN THAT. I PAID 6 FOR IT MYSELF. NO I PROMISE YOU THAT IT'S A WHITE HART ONE. I HAVE NO IDEA WHO THOSE NAME WERE. MAYBE THEY ARE NEW PLAYERS OR SOMETHING. YES OF COURSE IT'S AN OFFICIAL SCALF. MADAM YOU INSULT ME. OK LOOK 5 THEN. AND I WILL THROWN IN THIS "I WAS THERE WHEN ANDY WILLIAMS SCORED" T-SHIRT. YEAH OK FAIR POINT WHEN WOULD YOU HAVE A USE FOR THAT. OH COME ON DON'T WALK AWAY....YOU WILL REGRET IT.

CHRIST I'M NOT GONNA SELL ANYTHING AT THIS RATE. PEASANTS.

SIR PLEASE ALLOW ME TO HELP. YOU HAVE YOUR EYE ON THE OFFICIAL CUP FINAL HAT I SEE. HOW ABOUT ONE FOR YOU AND YOUR SON. YEAH I KNOW THEY ARE A BIT BIG. BUT HE WILL GROW INTO IT. I COULD ONLY GET HOLD OF THE ONE SIZE SEE. BIG DEMAND ON THESE YOU SEE. I WOULD GRAB THEM QUICK. THEY WILL BE WORTH SOMETHING IN A FEW YEARS. YES SIR THAT'S RIGHT THAT IS THE CLUB BADGE. AND OF COURSE THE HAT IS IN ORANGE. SHOW YOUR COLOURS SIR. NO SIR I HAVE NO IDEA HOW LONG THE HART'S BADGE HAS LOOKED LIKE THE DUTCH INTERNATIONAL BADGE. MAYEB THEY HAD IT DONE FOR THE CUP FINAL. NO SIR I HAVE NO IDEA WHY THERE IS A DUTCH FA BADGE ON THE LABEL. OH COME ON SIR DON'T THROWN THEM DOWN. THEY ARE GENUINE I PROMISE. LOOK TO YOU 6. I ONLY COVER MY COSTS THAT WAY SIR. YOUR THE ONE MAKING A BARGIN THAT WAY. SIR YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE MISSING. AH SOD OFF THEN.  I'M SURROUNDED BY IDIOTS. DOES NO ONE KNOW A BARGIN WHEN THEY SEE ONE?????