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   Task Two - The Album Reviews

 Task Two asks the remaining nine candidates to review three albums in three hours. The  albums the candidates have been given are: Trouble by Akon, Demon Days by Gorillaz  and Great White Hoax by Smother.
   Team One -  Betty,  Terri,  Paul  and  Sharon

   Team leader for this task - Paul

 1 min - Paul declares he is the best man to guide the team to victory in this task "I was making  money from music before most of you were even buying your first album".
 3 mins - Team One put on the first album, Trouble by the ghetto rapper Akon. Shaon instantly  calls for the music to be turned off "this sounds just like the shit the brats at home keep  playing all day, turn it off for crying out loud, I've come here to escape not be reminded of  those little shits".
 6 mins - The team have been sat around trying to take in Akon's album for the first couple of  tracks now. Paul makes an early observation, "This is the sound from the streets today, you  can hear the anger, this is clearly a work of genius, this guy knows what is hurting him and he  knows how to express that anger".
 10 mins - Betty, Terri and Sharon begin to lose interest in Akon's album and start to talk  amungst themselves while Paul continues to listen intensively to the album.
 20 mins - Paul begins to become annoyed at the others talking while he tries to listen, "It's  attitudes like this that stop the real talent getting spotted in this country". Terri offers her  opinion back declaring "It's nothing to do with us being narrow minded Paul, it's simply that this  album is average at best with tired opinions of life in the ghetto and how hard life is on the  street, we have heard it all before, Akon simply has nothing fresh or new to say on the  subjects he sings about". Refusing to be beaten in this debate, Paul answers back "Bollocks".
 35 mins - Paul finally gives in and puts on the second album, Demon Days by Gorillaz.
 43 mins - Betty finds this album far more to her liking expressing that Damon All-Bran is every  students pin up and everything he does is sheer genius, "and this album is just more proof of  that".
 48 mins - Paul has again been giving the music his full attention and sides with Betty in  enjoying this album, "This is the sound from the streets today, you can hear the anger, this is  clearly a work of genius, these guys knows what' s hurting the kids of today and know how to  express that anger".
 1 hr 5 mins - Sharon is still trying to get her head around how the gorillaz are a cartoon band  but the music is played by well known musicians who are just using the cartoon band as a  gimmick "Well that is fucking stupid, why don't they just stop fucking around drawing cartoon  band members and try and make a decent album instead of this shit". Terri is kind of in  agreement claiming "I find this album very repetitive, I'm finding it hard to find the talent here,  it seems to me they are trying to be clever but are missing the trick, clearly they can play  music, but this far too bland".
 1 hr 34 mins - Team One have now started listening to the third album by the little known  band Smother. Paul is quick again to express his first thoughts on the album "This is the sound  from the streets today, you can hear the anger, this is clearly a work of genius, these guys  knows what' s hurting the kids of today and know how to express that anger".
 1 hr 56 mins - Sharon again doesn't take to the music she can here "It's too loud, it's too  fucking loud, turn it off, it's giving me a headache". Terri offers a different opinion "this is very  raw but you can hear these guys are passionate about what they are doing, I can't see them  being unknown for long, very fresh, just different enough from the genre of music they clearly  come under".
 2 hrs 10 mins - Betty claims to have never heard of the band despite acting like all students  when it comes to music claiming they know all about new music and who are the next up and  coming bands, but like all students, she is clearly full of shit.
 2 hrs 35mins - It's time for Team One to decide what reviews they are going to put forward to  the board. Sharon decides to sit back claiming she thought they were all shit. Betty feels the  Gorillaz album was the better one if only because her hero Damon All-Bran might see the  programme and want to meet her and marry her so they can both go off and live in some  student digs somewhere fight pointless causes against the very people they will one day work  for.
 2 hrs 47 mins - With time running out Paul is still undecided just what his team will offer to the  board. "I like them all" he claims. "They all offer the sound of the street". Terri tells Paul that  there is no room for messing around and the team will have to go with common sense, "Smother  clearly have the best album here, they offer something new and are the only ones here with  any real talent. Gorillaz are nothing more than what they are pretending to be which is a  cartoon band and Akon just has the voice of a whinging kid sulking about things that don't even  effect him". Paul is quick to try and claim this opinion as his own. "Terri that is exactly what I  just said and exactly what I was going to offer to the board, you could have just said you  agreed with me".

   Team Two -  Bill,  Julie,  Garry,  Morag  and  Kev

   Team leader for this task - Bill

 1 min - The team decide that Bill is the best person to be team leader for this task with his  experience in light entertainment.
 4 mins - The first album by Akon has left Bill almost in a state of shock "what on earth is this  rubbish, where is the catchy chorus, the tunes, the melodies, why don't people sing anymore,  no wonder the country is in the state it is, no one can sing anymore, this is lazy rubbish".
 7 mins - Garry is totally enjoying the album by Akon and it isn't long before his ear piece phone  set is pulled out and he is trying to "bust a move".
 12 mins - With Garry nursing his swollen ankle after twisting it from dancing along to Akon, the  team settle down to decide what they think of this album. Morag is disgusted by the way Akon  sings about women, while Julie is finding it all a bit of a turn on claiming she would be more than  willing to over look the fact that Akon can't even talk properly let alone sing a single note.
 25 mins - Garry is in deep conversation with Morag about how Akon is simply trying to express  what happens on the street rather than "diss" women. He lends her a copy of Usher's new  Album to try and break her in gently to RnB. "But I want it back" Garry reminds her.
 38 mins - The team decide they have heard enough and look to put the next album on. The  CD's are nowhere to be seen. Bill unsure if they were ever given the albums goes to ask for a  couple more copies.
 42 mins - Bill returns. He has been assured that his team were given copies of all the albums  and they will not be given anymore.
 1 hr 4 mins - After a very long debate between the team, Kev finally admits he has put the  CD's in his bag and had every intention of nicking them. "I was gonna pay off some gambling  debts with them, I'm not giving them back either, if you want to listen to them so bad you can  go down HMV and buy them yourself".
 1 hr 23 mins - Despite the rest of the team turning on Kev, it is clear he is not going to give  the CD's back. Not even the sexual advances of Julie tempt Kev to part with the albums.
 1 hr 28 mins - Bored of the abuse he is now getting Kev leaves to meet up with his scummy  Chav mates, taking the CD's with him. The team are left in silence knowing they now face  almost certain defeat in this weeks task.
 1 hr 41 mins - The silence is finally broken by Garry, "I have some Maroon 5 in the car if  anyone wants me to go get it, we can at least listen to that".
 1 hr 56 mins - Garry returns with the Maroon 5 album along with two other CD's he has been  listening to in his car, "Girlie Love Ballads Vol 3" & "Karaoke Boy Band Classics", "I used to  practice along to this one when I was trying to be in a boy band" Garry informs the rest of the  team.
 2 hrs 14 mins - The team have been listening to "Karaoke Boy Band Classics" for 17 mins and  so far Garry has been unable to dislodge Bill from the front of the room. Bill has jumped at the  chance to prove he has still got it and has been singing along to the first 3 tracks.
 2 hrs 30 mins - Bill has been singing now for jusr over half an hour now and has so far put on  quite a good show, so good in fact that Julie has started to see Bill in a totally different light.  This new found affection for Bill clearly grows stronger as Bill starts to sing a Boy Band Ballad to  her. Julie throws her underwear at Bill before jumping on him and whisking a rather scared and  bemused Bill out of the room.
 2 hrs 32 mins - Garry at last has his chance to sing along to the remainder of the Karaoke CD.
 2 hrs 37 mins - Having totally lost himself in his performance to take That's "Relight my Fire",  Garry realises that his audience is only that of Morag who seems to be giving him a look of love.
 2 hrs 49 mins - Having sat in silence for the last 12 mins Both Garry and Morag decide that  with the task only minutes away from finishing and with no sign of Bill and Julie, they might as  well call it a day. Morag suggests they both retire to her room for a coffee but Garry suddenly  remembers a neighbourhood watch meeting he has to attend instead.

   The Verdict


 It didn't take a genius to know which team won this weeks task and the board didn't waste  time in declaring Team One the winners. The Board were again disapointed with the standard of  the teams but were glad to point out that Terri from Team One did infact get closer than most  in her review of the three albums. The Board pointed out that the albums by Akon and Gorillaz  were red herrings and of course could never be classed as anything more than total dog shit,  the album by Smother was of course the one they were looking for the teams to realise was an  undiscovered cracker of an album.

 So, as team leader for this task of Team Two, Bill was asked to chose two other candidates to  take to the boardroom with him. Bill chose Morag and unsurprisingly Kev. One of them is now  going to get fired.

 To find out who gets the boot, enter The Boardroom here