One - The Catchphrase
The weekly task has been set. Each team has just 3
hours to come up with a catchphrase that is worthy of being
used by The Ginge and Furterz. The candidates have been seperated
into two teams.
One - Betty, Rupert, Terri, Paul and
leader for this task - Terri
1 min - With only 3 of the team members
present, Terri gets everyone sat round in their meeting room to
discuss how they will go about coming up with a winning
catchphrase. Both Betty and Sharon are yet to turn up.
7 mins - Paul is already firing out catchphrases
by the second. Terri has asked Rupert to write down any ideas
shouted out, so far Rupert has yet to write down any of Paul's
10 mins - Paul is still firing out catchphrases
and Rupert is still not writing any of them down. Paul asks for
Rupert to read some of them back to him.
11 mins - "listen nerd boy, I was
churning out catchphrases before you were even an itch in your
daddies ball bag, so please don't tell me they were all
unquestionably average. As god is my witness I was earning big
money out of catchphrases for two years before the market collapsed
on them". Paul is not happy with Ruperts opinion that
Paul's phrases are not up to the standard they should be.
35 mins - Sharon finally turns up claiming
she couldn't "get the fuckers off to school". She proceeds
to inform the group that she had to bribe them in the end
with the promise she would bring home cider for all of them
tonight for when she is out at the local working men's club.
37 mins - Terri is unimpressed with the
progress that is being made and decides to give Betty a call to
see where she is.
38 mins - Terri wakes Betty up with a phone
call. Betty informs Terri that she will be in as soon as she can
but she had a skin full the night before at the student
bar, she has also woken in someone else's bed and it could
be some time before she finds out where she is.
50 mins - Rupert has been unable to fully
throw himself into todays task claiming it is undermining his
talent and genius. He instead decideds to piece together
the DNA stucture of a transgender rhino. "I need something
to stimulate my mind".
50 mins 30 secs - Having finished his DNA
structure, Rupert rejoins the group.
1 hr 15 mins - The group are getting nowhere
and tension is building. Paul is finding it very hard to take
orders from Terri and the pair begin to argue.
1 hr 26 mins - Sharon gets a call. One
of her kids has been sent home from school. She instruct him to
come to the office instead of going home so she can look
after him. This doesn't go down well with Paul, "what
that lad needs is to be punished not brought here. If I had done
something wrong I would hold my hands up and admit it, but
I haven't so I don't expect to be punished for it".
1 hr 43 mins - One of Sharon's literally
thousands of kids turns up having been sent home from school.
Sharon, unimpressed by his antics instanly begins to shout
at him much to the embarrassment of the other group memebers.
There is still no sign of Betty.
2 hrs 7 mins - With the entrance of Sharon's
ill behaved son the atmosphere in team one's meeting room has
hit an all time low. This leads to Rupert lending some advice
to the wayward son.
2 hrs 8 mins - Rupert threatens police
action after having his nose broken by Sharon's son. Rupert is
in shock having tried to help the sitatuion by telling Sharon's
son that he was an "ill tempered, foul mouthed, germ
sized fountain of knowledge with a brain matched with that of
a jelly fish standed on a beach while a little child pisses
2 hrs 24 mins - Paul continues to try and
come up with more ideas only to have them scuppered by Terri.
2 hrs 40 mins - Sharon's son who has been
told not to say a word since breaking Ruperts nose, finally breaks
his silence by informing his mum that Rupert was asking for it.
"it was time to "unleash the lesson" to the
numbnut spak in the specs. The group finally have their much needed
2 hrs 56 mins - Betty finally turns up.
"Have I missed anything?". Typical work shy tax dodging
Two - Bill, Julie, Garry, Morag and
leader for this task - Garry
1 min - Team Leader, Garry, decides that
the team will work better outside of their meeting room and makes
the decision to venture into town. Garry feels it would be a good
idea to see what the public have to offer.
20 min - The team finally make it into
town. Garry instructs the team to start asking passers by for
their favourite catchphrase or saying so the team can gather
25 mins - Kev has bumped into a group of
Chavs he knows and it isn't long before he is side tracked.
37 mins - Kev has now been missing for
45 mins - Garry and the remaining members
of the team are finding it hard to get any feed back from the
public. Kev is still missing. With almost an hour wasted
and no progress made, Garry calls the team together and
suggests sitting down and rethinking their game plan. With Burger
King only a few minutes away, Garry leads his team there
for their meeting.
50 mins - Garry has sat his team down and
gone to the counter to buy them all a coffee.
52 mins - Garry returns to his team with
two trays. One full of coffees for the team, the other is filled
with burgers and fries. Thinking these are for the whole
team Bill goes to help himself but is soon met with Garry informing
him to "eat get your own".
1 hr 37 mins - Garry has now eaten his
way through 2 Double Whoppers, 1 Chicken Royale, 2 Big King XL's,
3 Cheese Burgers and 8 Large Fries. Garry finally calls the meeting
1 hr 46 mins - It is agreed that the team
might do better near the top of town. With it being Market day
Morag suggests that the market traders are bound to be able
to help out.
1 hr 53 mins - The team finally get to
the top of town. Running out of time Garry instructs his team
to get talking to the market traders as quick as possible.
There is still no sign of Kev. Garry informs his team he quickly
needs to pop into McDonald's to use the toilets. Morag, Bill and
Julie get talking to a market trader selling fruit.
1 hr 59 mins - The team seem to be making
more progress than before. Kev is seen coming out of a bookies
with his mates. Garry is yet to come back.
2 hrs 20 mins - Julie is now missing too
leaving Bill and Morag to find out what they can. Bill becomes
caught up in a conversation with one of the traders. It
comes up that Bill is a light entertainer.
2 hrs 23 mins - Bill is now singing to
the whole market place much to the interest of the old dears who
seem smitten with his talented Frank Sinatra impression.
2 hrs 26 mins - Bill is performing an encore.
2 hrs 35 mins - Garry is still nowhere
to be seen since he popped into McDonalds to use the toilet. Kev
has now rejoined the group having spent all the time so
far in the bookies with his chav mates. Bill is surrounded
by old women as he signs autographs and tries to sell copies of
his CD that he just happened to have on him. Julie is seen
coming out of the back of one of the traders vans looking rather
flushed wiping her mouth. The market trader with a huge
smile on his face shouts out to his mates "That's a throat
2 hrs 37 mins - Morag gathers the team
together and it has been agreed that the catchphrase shouted by
the trader is as good as anything else the team are going
to come up with. Morag leads the team into McDonalds to
find Garry and tell him that they have their phrase for the day.
2 hrs 39 mins - Garry is found by the rest
of the team. He informs them that he was resting up after feeling
a bit funny having eaten so much in Burger King. Next to
him is a tray with the empty wrappers for 4 Big Macs', 3
Quarter Pounders, 7 Large Fries and a half eaten Fillet o' fish.
2 hrs 46 mins - It is agreed by team leader
that "That's a throat filler" is a winner and the team
head back to The Millennium Venue to deliver their Catchphrase.
With both teams final
catchphrases handed over, the board didn't take long at all to
declare team two the winners with their catchphrase "That's
a throat filler". But the board did stress that it wasn't
happy with either catchphrase but in the end one had to be picked.
Team Two were sent away while Team One were asked to stay behind
and answer why their entry was so lame. Team leader Terri wasn't
slow in pointing the finger at Rupert, Sharon and Betty. But the
rules state that only two others can come back into the boardroom
with her. Terri chose Rupert and Betty to join her and now one
of them is going to get sacked.
find out who gets the boot, enter The Boardroom here