THE APPRENTICE'S
APPRENTICE

 
     
   Home
   Weekly Tasks
   Furterz
   The Ginge
   Candidates
   The Board
   About Apprentice
   Task One - The Catchphrase

 The weekly task has been set. Each team has just 3 hours to come up with a  catchphrase that is worthy of being used by The Ginge and Furterz. The candidates have  been seperated into two teams.
   Team One -  Betty,  Rupert,  Terri,  Paul  and  Sharon

   Team leader for this task - Terri

 1 min - With only 3 of the team members present, Terri gets everyone sat round in their meeting room to  discuss how they will go about coming up with a winning catchphrase. Both Betty and Sharon are yet to  turn up.
 7 mins - Paul is already firing out catchphrases by the second. Terri has asked Rupert to write down any  ideas shouted out, so far Rupert has yet to write down any of Paul's ideas.
 10 mins - Paul is still firing out catchphrases and Rupert is still not writing any of them down. Paul asks for  Rupert to read some of them back to him.
 11 mins - "listen nerd boy, I was churning out catchphrases before you were even an itch in your daddies  ball bag, so please don't tell me they were all unquestionably average. As god is my witness I was earning  big money out of catchphrases for two years before the market collapsed on them". Paul is not happy with  Ruperts opinion that Paul's phrases are not up to the standard they should be.
 35 mins - Sharon finally turns up claiming she couldn't "get the fuckers off to school". She proceeds to  inform the group that she had to bribe them in the end with the promise she would bring home cider for all  of them tonight for when she is out at the local working men's club.
 37 mins - Terri is unimpressed with the progress that is being made and decides to give Betty a call to see  where she is.
 38 mins - Terri wakes Betty up with a phone call. Betty informs Terri that she will be in as soon as she can  but she had a skin full the night before at the student bar, she has also woken in someone else's bed and it  could be some time before she finds out where she is.
 50 mins - Rupert has been unable to fully throw himself into todays task claiming it is undermining his talent  and genius. He instead decideds to piece together the DNA stucture of a transgender rhino. "I need  something to stimulate my mind".
 50 mins 30 secs - Having finished his DNA structure, Rupert rejoins the group.
 1 hr 15 mins - The group are getting nowhere and tension is building. Paul is finding it very hard to take  orders from Terri and the pair begin to argue.
 1 hr 26 mins - Sharon gets a call. One of her kids has been sent home from school. She instruct him to  come to the office instead of going home so she can look after him. This doesn't go down well with Paul,  "what that lad needs is to be punished not brought here. If I had done something wrong I would hold my  hands up and admit it, but I haven't so I don't expect to be punished for it".
 1 hr 43 mins - One of Sharon's literally thousands of kids turns up having been sent home from school.  Sharon, unimpressed by his antics instanly begins to shout at him much to the embarrassment of the other  group memebers. There is still no sign of Betty.
 2 hrs 7 mins - With the entrance of Sharon's ill behaved son the atmosphere in team one's meeting room  has hit an all time low. This leads to Rupert lending some advice to the wayward son.
 2 hrs 8 mins - Rupert threatens police action after having his nose broken by Sharon's son. Rupert is in  shock having tried to help the sitatuion by telling Sharon's son that he was an "ill tempered, foul mouthed,  germ sized fountain of knowledge with a brain matched with that of a jelly fish standed on a beach while a  little child pisses on it"
 2 hrs 24 mins - Paul continues to try and come up with more ideas only to have them scuppered by Terri.
 2 hrs 40 mins - Sharon's son who has been told not to say a word since breaking Ruperts nose, finally  breaks his silence by informing his mum that Rupert was asking for it. "it was time to "unleash the lesson" to  the numbnut spak in the specs. The group finally have their much needed catchphrase.
 2 hrs 56 mins - Betty finally turns up. "Have I missed anything?". Typical work shy tax dodging student.

   Team Two -  Bill,  Julie,  Garry,  Morag  and  Kev

   Team leader for this task - Garry

 1 min - Team Leader, Garry, decides that the team will work better outside of their meeting room and  makes the decision to venture into town. Garry feels it would be a good idea to see what the public have to  offer.
 20 min - The team finally make it into town. Garry instructs the team to start asking passers by for their  favourite catchphrase or saying so the team can gather ideas.
 25 mins - Kev has bumped into a group of Chavs he knows and it isn't long before he is side tracked.
 37 mins - Kev has now been missing for 12 mins.
 45 mins - Garry and the remaining members of the team are finding it hard to get any feed back from the  public. Kev is still missing. With almost an hour wasted and no progress made, Garry calls the team  together and suggests sitting down and rethinking their game plan. With Burger King only a few minutes  away, Garry leads his team there for their meeting.
 50 mins - Garry has sat his team down and gone to the counter to buy them all a coffee.
 52 mins - Garry returns to his team with two trays. One full of coffees for the team, the other is filled with  burgers and fries. Thinking these are for the whole team Bill goes to help himself but is soon met with Garry  informing him to "eat get your own".
 1 hr 37 mins - Garry has now eaten his way through 2 Double Whoppers, 1 Chicken Royale, 2 Big King  XL's, 3 Cheese Burgers and 8 Large Fries. Garry finally calls the meeting open.
 1 hr 46 mins - It is agreed that the team might do better near the top of town. With it being Market day  Morag suggests that the market traders are bound to be able to help out.
 1 hr 53 mins - The team finally get to the top of town. Running out of time Garry instructs his team to get  talking to the market traders as quick as possible. There is still no sign of Kev. Garry informs his team he  quickly needs to pop into McDonald's to use the toilets. Morag, Bill and Julie get talking to a market trader  selling fruit.
 1 hr 59 mins - The team seem to be making more progress than before. Kev is seen coming out of a  bookies with his mates. Garry is yet to come back.
 2 hrs 20 mins - Julie is now missing too leaving Bill and Morag to find out what they can. Bill becomes  caught up in a conversation with one of the traders. It comes up that Bill is a light entertainer.
 2 hrs 23 mins - Bill is now singing to the whole market place much to the interest of the old dears who  seem smitten with his talented Frank Sinatra impression.
 2 hrs 26 mins - Bill is performing an encore.
 2 hrs 35 mins - Garry is still nowhere to be seen since he popped into McDonalds to use the toilet. Kev  has now rejoined the group having spent all the time so far in the bookies with his chav mates. Bill is  surrounded by old women as he signs autographs and tries to sell copies of his CD that he just happened  to have on him. Julie is seen coming out of the back of one of the traders vans looking rather flushed wiping  her mouth. The market trader with a huge smile on his face shouts out to his mates "That's a throat filler".
 2 hrs 37 mins - Morag gathers the team together and it has been agreed that the catchphrase shouted by  the trader is as good as anything else the team are going to come up with. Morag leads the team into  McDonalds to find Garry and tell him that they have their phrase for the day.
 2 hrs 39 mins - Garry is found by the rest of the team. He informs them that he was resting up after feeling  a bit funny having eaten so much in Burger King. Next to him is a tray with the empty wrappers for 4 Big  Macs', 3 Quarter Pounders, 7 Large Fries and a half eaten Fillet o' fish.
 2 hrs 46 mins - It is agreed by team leader that "That's a throat filler" is a winner and the team head back  to The Millennium Venue to deliver their Catchphrase.

   The Verdict


 With both teams final catchphrases handed over, the board didn't take long at all to declare  team two the winners with their catchphrase "That's a throat filler". But the board did stress  that it wasn't happy with either catchphrase but in the end one had to be picked. Team Two  were sent away while Team One were asked to stay behind and answer why their entry was so  lame. Team leader Terri wasn't slow in pointing the finger at Rupert, Sharon and Betty. But the  rules state that only two others can come back into the boardroom with her. Terri chose Rupert  and Betty to join her and now one of them is going to get sacked.

 To find out who gets the boot, enter The Boardroom here