God knows why it's been so long since I had a rant.
There has been plenty to shout about.

But something has pulled me out of my silence.
Monster Monster Page
Please meet Ryan Parry.
Ryan is a reporter for The Daily Mirror newspaper.
BUT for the past few months Ryan has been working under cover and has this week exposed a massive lack of security in Windsor Castle.
Or has he ??????

Well the answer is no he hasn't.
You see Ryan Parry is nothing more than a bell smack trying to make a name for himself.
For those of you who don't know about this story, Ryan has been working as a Footman at Windsor Castle. He is of course also a reporter for The Mirror. This week he has told the world his story and shown us all just how bad the security is at Windsor, and just how easy he has had access to the building.
Shocking stuff I am sure you will all agree.
Thank god this story has come to light. Maybe something will be done about it. I am no fan of the Royal Familty but god forbid anything nasty happened to them.
This story has caused waves, been on the news, the paper have run over 5 pages on it, each day,  all this week and it's even been debated in the Houses of Parliament.

But am I the only one to see the big flaw in this whole shocking story?

Parry started work as a Footman a couple of months ago. His task, unknown to his new employers, was to expose the lack of security in Windsor Castle.
During the next couple of months Parry went about posing as a Footman and making notes about where he could go and what he could do. He found he was able to go almost where he wanted and had access to The Royals themselves.
YES PARRY, THAT IS BECAUSE YOU WERE A FOOTMAN AT WINDSOR CASTLE.
IT WAS YOUR JOB.
God help us all. How is any of this big news?

The world is truly going mad.

This really is the cutting edge of reporting isn't it. What are we going to get next week?
"Read how I drove a train all on my own as I worked as a train driver".
"Read how I was actually able to cook food in a Happy Eater as I worked as a Chef"

I give up.
If anything Parry should be laughed out of his "second" job as a reporter.
This isn't big news, and there is no lapse in security.
Parry was taken on, as has since been reported, after he was checked and double checked for a criminal record and checked to see if he was linked in anyway to any group or movement that would put anyone at danger etc etc etc.
So if he was up to the job, impressed enough in the interview and did a good enough job once taken on, and we can only assume he did as he survived a couple of months before he left, where is the problem?
There isn't one.
How can an employer be at fault or made to look stupid if the person he has taken on meets with the required standard? He wasn't a terrorist, he had no criminal record and isn't linked to any terrorist movement.
He turned up, did his job and left. Yes he didn't turn out to be who they thought he was, but then anyone could suddenly decide they were going to become a security risk. Anyone of the Footmen at Windsor Castle could suddenly kill The Queen, any of them could sell their story to anyone they wanted, any of them could give away plans of the Castle, times and dates...anything. There is nothing new about any of this. No one could ever be hired as a none risk 100%.
Reporting like this really does my head in. Ok so don't read it. But when it gets put on TV debated everywhere there is no hiding place.
Ryan Parry now thinks he is a hero. The paper think they have stumbled on a massive story.

Parry also of course took photos of rooms where Harry and William used to play and now relax, the room in which George Bush will be staying during his visit. But again, couldn't any of the Footmen have done this. It can't be that hard to take a picture quickly. As a Footman he DOES have the freedom of the house almost, it was his job.

"I had access to the Queen and Philip for 4 days" he boasts.
"Had I been a terrorist I could have carried out an assasination"
Err no you couldn't Parry, remember you had been checked to see if you had links. They knew you were no threat, therefore you were allowed to work that close with them.

I think the best part is this:-
"Despite pledges to boost protection after the Aaron Barschak farce, Parry was able to roam freely around The Queen's country homewhile working as a footman. He served the Monach drinks, walked her Corgis and took food to her private apartments".
IT WAS YOUR FUCKING JOB COCKSUCK.
You were there employed as a Footman, what did you think you were going to be doing?

Surly there can be some kind of rule that can be brought in where rubbish like this just can't be reported?
It comes to something when David Blunkett is having to comment on it in Parliament when there has to be more pressing issues in the world? 

It just baffles me as to why Parry even suddenly came up with the idea to do all this.
Well apart from the fact that he is trying to make his name of course, I for one have never heard of him before.
It's all just hysteria reporting for the sake of it.

Anyway, well done Parry, you have had your moment of fame.
But let's face it, your no more a Reporter than you are a Footman.
Please disappear back to where ever you came from and don't bother us again with you stating the obvious brand of reporting. Although I have to say I can't wait for your next story that you have coming up:
"How I was able to get within a few feet of Robbie Williams while he was on stage, just by buying a ticket to one of his concerts. I mean I could have been anyone, had I been a terrorist I could have carried out an assasination there and then".

I hear that one of the Corgis has just shit all over the steps at the front of Windsor Castle, be a good chap and go and clean it up would you Parry.
Ta