It seem's ITV are on a roll, and this time it's personal. And just what the hell are WonderTights. Oh ok I'll investigate, just for you, you understand.
It's time for someone to feel the Wrath.
|Hot on the heels of Popstars, and Soapstars, ITV are now treating us to Pop Idol. Thank god for that, another search for a star. Only this time we get to pick the winner, who's reward will be a £1M record contract. But of course first as with all these programmes all contestants first have to get past the judges before they can get to the next round when the real fun starts. Sounds great.............doesn't it????????|
|So why has this all got up my nose? Oh where to start. While this type of programme some how just drags you in and keeps you watching, this one leaves a bitter taste in the mouth.
The idea at this early stage of the proceedings is for each person who enters, to sing a verse and chorus of a tune of their choice, to the panel of judges. If they do enough they go through to the next stage. But who would you have on this panel? 4 are needed this time round. We have Dr Fox, of dire radio sorry Capital Radio. He is the only man left on this planet who still thinks that the Pepsi chart is the official chart of the country, bless. Then we have good old Pete Waterman, king of cheese and camp music. A man who seems to be on a mission to finally kill of creative music as we know it. Simon Cowell, Head of A&R for RCA Records, lists the likes of Robson and Jerome, Girl Thing and Five as the big names he has worked with. And last and by every means least there is Nicki Chapman, puplicist and Creative Director who has worked with the likes of S Club 7 and Billie Piper, was of course also one of the judges on Popstars.
So we have our panel, and already you are sat at home wondering if any of them would know a talented singer if it bit them on the nose. Anyway as you would expect this type of oppotunity is bound to attract more than a few young hopefuls wanting a slice of the pop world. And surly it's no suprise that thousands turn up to each audition. And if that many people come you are bound to attact people who just don't have it. Comman sense surly?
|These four idiots must have known this. Offer such a prize to the public and it's going to happen. So off we go then, one by one the hopefuls all go in and give it their best shot, some of course are nervous. And here is what has wound me up. As you can imagine the judges are looking for a plastic face and skinny body that they can sell to the public and make loads of cash. If they can sing well all the better. You only have to look at the backgrounds of these judges to realise that they are not bothered one bit about actual talent. Now what percentage of this world are in that catogory? Not many, but after a while this seemed to piss the judges off. And they started to get rather nasty about it. These poor hopefuls all enter the room hoping they have what is needed, they are nervous. So they stand there and do what is asked of them. By this time they can already see in the judges eyes that they have not made it, yet they carry on. They finish and wait, wait to hear their fate, they proberly already know it, but they wait...................."That was fucking rubbish, christ at least put some fucking passion into it. Fuck me". The wise wise words of Mr Pete Waterman ladies and gentleman. "That is the worst we have heard today, you look awful and you can't sing", the follow up from the all knowing Simon "no one has ever heard of you" Cowell.
Who the fuck do these idiots think they are. No matter how stupid these people were to think they stood a chance, what the hell have they done to deserve that. Why the hell bring someone to tears just because they were not good enough. Is it really not enough to just say to them "sorry your not going to the next round"?
Other gems from these music guru's have been:-
"You have to be honest with yourself, can you really see yourself on the front cover of Smash Hits?"
"You are never going to make a living as a singer, I suggest you go home and look for a job"
"we have to be real, you have a great voice but would you be happy if I told you to loose weight"
"That left me cold, that was fucking rubbish"
Now it's not just the nasty comments that is making me want to punch their stupid faces, it's the pure two faced side to all of this.
We have Pete Waterman sat there telling people they are ugly and can you imagine people buying their records. Sorry Pete are you not the man who brought us Sonya, Big Fun, Brother Beyhond, Steps and more? He told one bloke who so far is the only one I have heard with any talent that he had the voice but was to fat. Sorry I thought talent was what you were looking for.
The whole thing is dire. And doesn't all of this send out a very wrong message to young teenage kids about the way they should look if they want to be a star. Something everyone has been saying is wrong for ages now.
But I think the main thing that is getting to me is the prize. A £1M record contract. There are so many talented bands out there doing the rounds begging for a chance, they actually write their own stuff, and believe it or not they can play instruments. Yet they will never get the chance. All because the money is going to plactic faces who will never write a single line of a song, and are just taught how to smile for the camera's. Now that really does fuck me off. How these pricks are able to sit there judging these people the way they do when we all have to put up with some of the total shit they have been flooding the charts with. Yes I know it's all about money, but just think how much more of it they could make if they were backing a REAL band for a change. God only knows the world is starting to cry out for something new and talented. Unfortunatly while these people pull the strings, that is just not going to happen.
|First we had the WonderBra, and now you lucky ladies have WonderTights. Or is it lucky Lads????
Well they sure look good in the picture, Ah NOT. Christ something else for men to now worry about. These new WonderTights are just more bad news for men. Look at them, How tight? How the hell are we suppose to seductively peel those off. God it's bad enough worry how many clips the bra is going to have, now we are going to have the added worry wondering if they are wearing these. And then of course there is the extra worry that comes with it. If she is wearing them does that mean she has a saggy arse? I don't think women realise just how unfair that part of it is. Women get upset when they get a bloke home only to find that the impressive bulge is infact a now very brusied banana. So can women not see how unfair these Wonder products are for us? A bird with great tits and a cracking arse could now for all we know be lies. And by the time you find out, it's to late.
Not only that but these WonderTights are also threatening to take away another male pass time.
|"and because these tights hold and shape your figure you have no need to wear any underwear with them". WHAT, you can't do that. Don't you people know that trying to spot the VPL is a nation male pass time.
Or am I just being sexist??????
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