HERO'S
AND VILLANS
OF 2000
VILLANS OF 2000
William Hague. Had us believe that he used to down 14 pints a day on a regular basis. Yeah right O mate. Of course you did. I mean just look at his picture, we all believe him don't we. Sorry Hague your feeble lies trying to make yourself a bit of a lad made you a bit of a laughing stock.
The Millennium Dome. For being the most boring news feature to be constantly on the TV and in the Newspapers. No one ever cared. And for constantly having money thrown at it when it was "in trouble". (Nearly made it onto the hero's page for being part of the best opening scene to a Bond film ever),
Robbie Williams. The biggest twat of the year. Don't care how many women fancy him. He is a flid. His songs are meaningless tripe that always have to mention getting high "yeah thanks Robbie we get the idea". Claims he writes his own songs when he doesn't. And then collects writing awards. Mouthed off to Liam all year only to break down in tears when confronted face to face with him. etc etc. One day the world will wake up and suddenly go "Robbie Williams, you know something he really is a talentless cockend". Oh well until that day.............
Anthea Turner. The most annoying woman of the year by a mile. Brought out the book of her life, in which she slagged off every person she had ever spoken to.  Made everyone feel sick when we all woke up to those vile wedding photos of her and her smug numbnuts of a new husband munching on a chocolate bar made by the sponsors of her wedding. Would be the ugliest couple on this planet if Zoe Ball & Cook were not alive.
Anne Robinson. God it's bad enough having her on watchdog telling everyone they are shite without letting them have their say. But now we have her on a game show, where he slags off everyone on there too. And for bringing about the worst new catchphrase of the year...Anne Robinson you are the weakest link.....goodbye
David Beckham. On the list simply for being David Beckham really. Anyone who pays 300 for a skinhead needs to be laughed at. Highlight of the bumbling idiots year was when he had a tattoo done on his arm saying Victoria in Hebru or something. Only to find out it was spelt wrong after it was done. Brilliant. Also on this list for making out he deserved to be captain of England simply for being him during his TV documentry and failing to understand what it really means to be the captain of your country.
Anne Widdicome. Look at the state of that boat race. Sorry not the reason I have her on this list, but god sort it out woman. No the reason she is on here was her little outbreak during her parties conference when she wanted to fine and imprison people caught with weed. She actually wanted to imprison these people. I don't do it myself but this really is the most pathetic thing I have ever heard come out of a polititians mouth. And this in touch woman wonders why her party are not running our country...have sit down and have another little think my dear.
Zoe Ball. FACT: The only woman on this planet uglier than Anne Widdicome. Ball told us all at the beginning of the year that she was taking a break from showbiz, only to appear on my TV every time I turned it on. She has no talent and is only on TV cause of who her dad is. She can't work out if she is a bloke or a bird (hope giving birth help you figure that out Zoe). The Priory is the worst programme ever on TV and largly down to her annoying voice and manner. I hate her and even if she had been quiet this year she would have still been on this list.....LIVE WITH IT.
Norman Cook. Come on, can't slag one off without the other. Well I can't. So why is the Fat Boy on the list. Simple, his crap second hand music. Bird of Pray has to be the laziest track ever made. He didn't do anything and then wants us all to believe he is this dance Messiah. And he keeps going on about the days of Acid music back in 88 as if he was part of it. No sorry Norman while that was all going on you were in The Housemartins. so shut the f*** up. And change your taste in women. It's dire.
Jamie Oliver. Oh what a year it has been for him. And what a pain for the rest of us, oh sorry apart from the women. Naked Chef, enough to put you off anything your eating. And those ad's he's in, you aint cool mate and you look like you need a wash all the time. And get some new clothes on, you look like a tramp.
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